Sage Advise For a Muslimah with a Drinking, Drugging, Whoring Husband

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My husband is an alcoholic, gambler, smokes weed and keeps having sex with other women

"He drinks alcohol..."

I m 35 and have been married for 9 yrs with 2 small kids. My husband gambles, drinks and then has sex with other women. He smokes weed. He also goes to nude bars. When I tell him to quit, he gets aggressive and becomes very abusive. We have not slept together for almost 2 years now as I don't want to, neither does he want to, as he has at least 200 different women around him. My parents do not want me to divorce him. Please guide me in the light of Islam as to what should I do. I m getting too tired mentally and physically. I have tried everything possible but nothing has helped. He thinks there is nothing wrong with him and puts his all blame on me. I have heard from his friends that he was always like that. He does not even care about his own kids. Please guide.

1. 
   

   Faith
   

   November 22, 2011 • 12:02 am

   Assalaamu alaikum sister Zarlish,

   Its a horrible situation to be in and Im sorry to hear that your going through this. However, in order to advice you properly, we do need to have more information than what you have provided.

   Undoubtedly what your husband is doing is totally haraam and unacceptable and I also know that nothing will justify such a behaviour, however, with such information, what else can we possibly advice you but to say "yes this is horrible, divorce him" ? Can we possibly say anything else? Is that what you want to hear?

   It is easy to just divorce and you can go for that option quickly, however, l feel its wrong to advice you that seeing how much I am aware of your situation and its details.

   So be a little more informative as to how things have become this bad..because you claim that it was through his friends you find out that he was always this way. You mean to say when you initially married him, you didn't know he drinks, smokes, is aggressive, or any of his bad habits?? How did you marry him if he has always been this way and why is it that you were not aware of any of this? Or you were aware? If so, then after knowing this why DID you infact marry him?
   Has he really been this way all throughout the marriage or did he become worse later on? Any reasons you could think of as to why he has totally lost it and gone this far?
   

   What exactly is "everything possible" which you have tried but isnt working?

   May Allah make it easy for you and guide you towards that which is best, Ameen.

   Was salaam.